21st September 2016
Hi,
I have returned. I've been feeling under the weather for sometime now. I came down with sore throat, flu and cough. I'm getting better though. So, for anyone who's concerned, I'm fine. After writing my blog, I felt so at ease, I finished my prep for class, yet I couldn't sleep and ended up sleeping around 3 am. *Sighs*
Okay, so as I said, I found out that the guy was opting to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. This piece of information came to me as I was preparing for my 1st year finals. Woohoo, but yeah, tragic. His mother texted me asking if he was okay as apparently he lost his phone. (I was aware of that, he texted me through Facebook messenger for sometime) His mother knew we were quite "close" so she asked me to keep an eye on him, which I did, just to get emotionally trampled by him. (He had bad, very bad, temper problems) I wanted to give up, but again, as I valued relationships more than myself, I let him hurt me with words. I tried my level best to understand that he was hurting and that's the sole reason he was taking it all out on me.
Days passed, and I grew more exhausted with his behavior and I poured out everything to him one day, I was stressed with finals as well, so not my fault completely. We had that rough patch between us and we didn't contact each other after that. This was around May 2016, the same time the first love of my life made an entry into my life, for the second time.
Jeng, jeng, jeng!
My ex and I didn't take too long to reconcile as the fire of love was still burning bright within me. (The moment that I realized that I've not gotten over him, in any way!) Well, my first love story goes way back into 2015, I broke up around April, (12th April, to be accurate) and came to Moscow on October 16th. I took the whole of April to the day I reached Moscow to mourn my dead love, then. We broke up because of a reason that I wish not to discuss, well let's put it as a barrier. When we made up again on May 2016, the barrier was removed from our lives, permanently. Thus, we springed right back on the relationship. At least, the barrier was what I thought was the downhill of our relationship at that point.
Got to put a stop to the flow of words, I can't handle this right now. More to come, stay tuned.
Love,
G
Wednesday, 21 September 2016
Tuesday, 20 September 2016
Throwback To Fun Times
20th September 2016
Hello,
Hello,
As I'm writing this, I'm in the beginning of my 3rd semester. I can't brain the thought that I'm writing this almost a year after my first post. Oh, how times flies! It zooms past. Well, to start things off, my 2nd semester was a HIT. Trust me when I say, I did things I've never thought I'll do, even in daydreams. And a lots of them, at that. Semester started as usual, and our schedules were less hectic, say we had shorter classes than how it was for the 1st semester. I'm saying this because 3rd semester is even better. The subjects and the learning process didn't get easier, obviously,classes are more intense and we have lots more to absorb and all. Thus, we are put in a less hectic schedule, giving us more time to study and also complain about how hectic study life has become. Well, life as it is by a medical student. *Laughs*
That being said, the burden of writing an introduction has been lifted off. I can finally dwell into the heart of the subject. It feels like I have so much to type, say, but I'm going to try to keep it short as I've taken this official break to write, and then I have to get back to preparing for my Physiology class tomorrow.
So, yes, second semester. It passed by in a blur, as we were having so much fun. The starting was not so bad, the occasional outings, dinners with course-mates and friends. Well, and then I found a friend. A guy, we took off pretty quickly. First, we started chatting, on the same day he Skype'd me despite living in the same city. It was pretty creepy at first, he came off to me as a pretty clingy person at that pace and turned out, he was. And then later that week, he wanted to meet, and me being a little too carefree at that moment, because what have I got to lose, right? I mean I was single then, and I wanted to "live in the moment". So, we met. I had to shop for some clothes and so we met at a mall and we spoke about family and friends. We pulled it off as friends.
Things escalated pretty quickly from that point onward. We Skype'd almost everyday and he once asked me to sleep on the phone with him (Imagine this in the most innocent way possible. We didn't sext or do anything along those lines) Let me get one point straight here. Before this "relationship", I've never been in a long-term relationship. Mind you, my first relationship lasted for 2 weeks, we were talking/getting to know each other for 4 months, such a shame, I know. (My very first love and there was a sequel, coming soon!) So, getting back to the story, I was pretty shocked, or perhaps clueless on how to lead this "relationship", so I just went with the flow. We got close in no time, and there was this one time that he wanted to watch a movie with me and we got the tickets a day earlier, but something came up for him and he had to cancel the movie plan. As much as I wanted to throw a tantrum, I'm the type of "almost-girlfriend" who gave one too many chances, just because I value the relationship more than myself. (One thing that I'm learning to overcome)
So, he paid for my cab and asked me to join him with his friends and seniors. As much as I hesitated, he went out on all extremes to have me next to him at that moment. (Sweet? It was freezing cold outside and a Sunday, I just wanted to curl under my blankets. I was never the outgoing type) We met, and apparently he told his friends that I was his girlfriend. I was flabbergasted, like what do I say? I mean I've not given it thoughts yet. Do I want to be your girlfriend? Am I over my past relationship? (It might seem ridiculous, but it took 6 months for me to get over my ex-boyfriend, the initial break up phase took that long.) As I was in the initial shocked phase, I refused to play along with the girlfriend game, one that he took very seriously. The result of me not playing the game (he asked me to hold hands with him, tow which I refused adamantly) was his friends thinking that he was being forceful towards this relationship. He did not talk to me the whole night and a fortnight. *Sighs*
He finally texted me back, after I said sorry countless times, (again the effect of being the partner who gives in too much) saying that he owes me the movie which we were supposed to watch and that he is ending ties with me. I agreed on the movie and I wanted to convince him into forgiving me, (which costed a McChicken. How easy! *laughs*) and he ended up forgiving me. Voila! The relationship went on for sometime, us occasionally meeting and all. Then, one day we attended an event organised by our University and it happened to be the weekend before my birthday. My friends wanted to crash at a local pub and we planned it to be a silent night, you know, just girls and a couple of dances. I told him that I was leaving and he stopped me saying that he is joining us.
He had a surprise intact, he actually gathered all his friends and a few of my close friends over at a local pub and it was the most happening, pre-birthday bash ever. I owe him that. I felt so loved, but my friends said that perhaps his intention on me wasn't love. After that incident, the relationship took a massive 360-turn, I found out that he was trying to get back with his ex-girlfriend.
Wooops, cliff-hanger. I desperately have to stop now. I will write back ASAP. (Promise!)
Ciao,
Gayu
So, yes, second semester. It passed by in a blur, as we were having so much fun. The starting was not so bad, the occasional outings, dinners with course-mates and friends. Well, and then I found a friend. A guy, we took off pretty quickly. First, we started chatting, on the same day he Skype'd me despite living in the same city. It was pretty creepy at first, he came off to me as a pretty clingy person at that pace and turned out, he was. And then later that week, he wanted to meet, and me being a little too carefree at that moment, because what have I got to lose, right? I mean I was single then, and I wanted to "live in the moment". So, we met. I had to shop for some clothes and so we met at a mall and we spoke about family and friends. We pulled it off as friends.
Things escalated pretty quickly from that point onward. We Skype'd almost everyday and he once asked me to sleep on the phone with him (Imagine this in the most innocent way possible. We didn't sext or do anything along those lines) Let me get one point straight here. Before this "relationship", I've never been in a long-term relationship. Mind you, my first relationship lasted for 2 weeks, we were talking/getting to know each other for 4 months, such a shame, I know. (My very first love and there was a sequel, coming soon!) So, getting back to the story, I was pretty shocked, or perhaps clueless on how to lead this "relationship", so I just went with the flow. We got close in no time, and there was this one time that he wanted to watch a movie with me and we got the tickets a day earlier, but something came up for him and he had to cancel the movie plan. As much as I wanted to throw a tantrum, I'm the type of "almost-girlfriend" who gave one too many chances, just because I value the relationship more than myself. (One thing that I'm learning to overcome)
So, he paid for my cab and asked me to join him with his friends and seniors. As much as I hesitated, he went out on all extremes to have me next to him at that moment. (Sweet? It was freezing cold outside and a Sunday, I just wanted to curl under my blankets. I was never the outgoing type) We met, and apparently he told his friends that I was his girlfriend. I was flabbergasted, like what do I say? I mean I've not given it thoughts yet. Do I want to be your girlfriend? Am I over my past relationship? (It might seem ridiculous, but it took 6 months for me to get over my ex-boyfriend, the initial break up phase took that long.) As I was in the initial shocked phase, I refused to play along with the girlfriend game, one that he took very seriously. The result of me not playing the game (he asked me to hold hands with him, tow which I refused adamantly) was his friends thinking that he was being forceful towards this relationship. He did not talk to me the whole night and a fortnight. *Sighs*
He finally texted me back, after I said sorry countless times, (again the effect of being the partner who gives in too much) saying that he owes me the movie which we were supposed to watch and that he is ending ties with me. I agreed on the movie and I wanted to convince him into forgiving me, (which costed a McChicken. How easy! *laughs*) and he ended up forgiving me. Voila! The relationship went on for sometime, us occasionally meeting and all. Then, one day we attended an event organised by our University and it happened to be the weekend before my birthday. My friends wanted to crash at a local pub and we planned it to be a silent night, you know, just girls and a couple of dances. I told him that I was leaving and he stopped me saying that he is joining us.
He had a surprise intact, he actually gathered all his friends and a few of my close friends over at a local pub and it was the most happening, pre-birthday bash ever. I owe him that. I felt so loved, but my friends said that perhaps his intention on me wasn't love. After that incident, the relationship took a massive 360-turn, I found out that he was trying to get back with his ex-girlfriend.
Wooops, cliff-hanger. I desperately have to stop now. I will write back ASAP. (Promise!)
Ciao,
Gayu
Learning Process
24th October 2015
I was dreading the approach of this day. The day my life started as an independent medical student in a country I've never visited before, in a state that I have no immediate family members and in a group where no one was close friend, a friend that I could rely on. None.
It was cold outside, I was hoping that it would be over, I was a week late in separating from my parents. My batch-mates did their bawling and was over it. Mine was just about to start. The morning my parents left me. In the middle of the road, I stood, alone. Waiting for the taxi to take the corner of the road so that I could give a loud cry of distress and act like nothing happened back in my room.
But, no. That didn't happen. Instead, I cried all the way to my room and hid under the blanket and cried even more. At that point, all I ever wanted to do was cry, just pour everything that was in my heart in the form of salt and water, tears. Well, and I felt like there was no point in me even crying. And then I cried even more knowing that it takes up to a day before I could talk to my parents. I called home, talked to my sisters. Cried even more, then.
At that time, I found solace in talking to myself and also the God idols I brought from home. I talked to Him, I told him all there is to say and I felt calm. I realized that He listens and he replies. So, that's how I gained faith back again. In another few days time, I was over it. I was learning at an unbelievably quick pace and I was doing everything on my own. BAM! Never thought I'll be as independent as I am now.
P.S I'm nearing the completion of 1st semester as I write this.
I was dreading the approach of this day. The day my life started as an independent medical student in a country I've never visited before, in a state that I have no immediate family members and in a group where no one was close friend, a friend that I could rely on. None.
It was cold outside, I was hoping that it would be over, I was a week late in separating from my parents. My batch-mates did their bawling and was over it. Mine was just about to start. The morning my parents left me. In the middle of the road, I stood, alone. Waiting for the taxi to take the corner of the road so that I could give a loud cry of distress and act like nothing happened back in my room.
But, no. That didn't happen. Instead, I cried all the way to my room and hid under the blanket and cried even more. At that point, all I ever wanted to do was cry, just pour everything that was in my heart in the form of salt and water, tears. Well, and I felt like there was no point in me even crying. And then I cried even more knowing that it takes up to a day before I could talk to my parents. I called home, talked to my sisters. Cried even more, then.
At that time, I found solace in talking to myself and also the God idols I brought from home. I talked to Him, I told him all there is to say and I felt calm. I realized that He listens and he replies. So, that's how I gained faith back again. In another few days time, I was over it. I was learning at an unbelievably quick pace and I was doing everything on my own. BAM! Never thought I'll be as independent as I am now.
P.S I'm nearing the completion of 1st semester as I write this.
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